To Sir, With Love

What follows is a farewell spoof on the never-say-die spirit of our (former) Editor of Hindustan Times, Vipul Mudgal, which we never got to share with him. (There were other spoofs Jaipur staffers had indulged in and he was kind enough to take them in good humour). Caught hold of this while cleaning up old files on the hard drive where it lay buried for 9 years now. Reproducing it as it was (forgive the errors)...

This is a general notice to bring to your attention of the possible closure of a reputed counseling centre in Bani Park (Read: HT).

It is to inform our clients, that the counsellor, Dr Vipul Mudgal would be available to all for another day following which he is being replaced by Dr CK Naidu of Raipur. Dr Mudgal a known master of ‘life sciences’, has been carrying on regular experiments in the animal farm with his degree from Agra.

The counselor, our bearded ol’ friend (he would be killing me for robbing him of his evergreen youth), has finally woken up to his wife of numerous years and a son who happen to be residing in a village close to Delhi. They call it Gur Gaon (jaggery village), an odd place where liquor thrives, not sweetness.

One morning, very recently, he yawned and said, what he said three years ago when he had first joined, “hell! What the F*$k am I doing here.”

Dr Mudgal had encountered several morons during his hair-raising tenure in the city and has patiently endured them; his philosophy in life what cannot be cured should be endured. So he suffered the handful of mistakes that snowballed into a page full of mistakes. He did not mind. “Forgive them God for they know not what they do.” For Christ Sake get me out of here!

Initially, he was a bit apprehensive of the success his fledging team would meet in getting their English correct. But, his conviction in himself saw him through. The staff never recovered from their poor English. And, he never gave up.